I Want You To Hold Me
by secretlovechild
Summary: Seto asks Ryou what he wants, and Ryou tries to answer. A SetoRyou oneshot.


A/N Its not my best, but I like it despite its not-so-greatness.

Disclaimer: I own nothing so leave me ALONE! cries Must you RUB IT IN?

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"Please Ryou, talk to me. Tell me what you want."

I've never been much of a talker. I guess it comes from not having had many friends growing up. Friends were just ways for the spirit of the Sennen Ring to torment me. Until I met Yuugi-tachi that is. When I was little every night before I went to bed I'd look out of my window and wish on the first star I saw. _Wish I may, wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight_. Every night I wished for a place like Domino City. I wished for a place where I could have friends and not be afraid that the spirit of the Sennen Ring would hurt them. A place where I could smile and be happy and not feel like I had a black cloud of bad luck hanging over my head, preventing anything good from ever happening to me.

Ever since I was born I've been unlucky. Tousan tries not to notice and he would never mention it, but he knows why bad things always happen when I am around. At first it would be little things like dropping a plate or tripping down stairs. The first big thing that happened was when Tousan, Amane and I were driving home from school one day, we were laughing and happy and I didn't know about my bad luck yet. I didn't know why bad things happened around me. When the car crashed and Amane died, Tousan couldn't ignore my bad luck. We moved and moved, trying to outrun my black cloud, but we never could. Tousan tried never to mention it, but he was away more and more often, until someone else bad happened and he came home to move me somewhere else.

I don't remember when I started my nightly tradition of wishing on the stars, not too long after Amane died I think. When I was little I did it because I thought it would make everything better, I thought it would bring me friends, and make Tousan stay home more often and maybe even bring Amane back to me. As I got older, I did it because it was something I had always done. It was something I couldn't stop doing, no matter how little it had done to take away my black cloud, and then, something changed.

Tousan came home, after my bad luck struck again, and moved me to Domino. As always, I promised myself that this new city would be different from all the others. I promised myself my bad luck wouldn't find me here. I always tried to keep smiling even when I couldn't see any reason to, because if I stopped smiling and stopped hoping, didn't that mean that my bad luck had won? I wouldn't let it win. I couldn't let it win. But this time actually was different, I made friends, like I always did in new cities, and I tried to convince myself that the spirit of the Sennen Ring couldn't hurt them here, that the spirit didn't want to torment me anymore… maybe he was bored, or had given up on his sadistic ways. I was wrong about that, of course, because he hadn't changed. That was something I could always count on, he would never change. But this time it was my friends who had changed, instead of getting hurt, they hurt the spirit. Yuugi was like me! He had a Sennen item as well! Yuugi was so lucky though, unlike me. His spirit loved him and protected him, whereas mine lived only to torment and use me. In Domino I could forget about the spirit, I could smile and be happy and have fun, because the spirit of Yuugi's Sennen Puzzle could control the evil spirit inside my ring. Despite the many times the spirit would shut me up inside my soul room and use my body to pursue his evil purposes, I could still be happy in Domino, and lately the spirit of my Sennen Ring has be quiet, content to stay within his soul room and sulk over his latest failed escapade. In Domino my bad luck wasn't so bad.

I guess that still doesn't explain where I am now, which is standing facing Seto Kaiba who is looking at me like I could destroy him if I wanted to. The thought is as terrifying as it is empowering. How I got here, is perhaps more frightening than how I got to Domino to escape my bad luck.

I never knew Seto that well. He wasn't one of our friends, no matter how hard Yuugi tried to include him. Yuugi always managed to make a friend out of a former enemy, Marik and Yuugi kept in touch and he made a point of coming to visit us every summer, and Otogi was most definitely a friend to all of us, he was so meddlesome that we couldn't have ignored him if we'd tried. It is mainly Otogi's fault that I am here. Otogi thought he saw something worth meddling in, and couldn't help but stick his nose into other people's business.

It was at Yuugi's Christmas party. He has one every year and everyone invited always goes because Yami tends to get rather upset when people disappoint Yuugi. This is usually the only time I really see Seto, because even he feels obliged to make an appearance at Yuugi's annual party. The party was held back at the Game Shop, even though Yuugi doesn't live there anymore. Yuugi attends Tokyo University, along with Otogi and myself. I remember being terrified to leave Domino, incase my bad luck found me again, but it didn't. It's hard with all of us not being together anymore. Jounouchi's attending night school back in Domino, and he promises us that he's going to get good enough marks to join us next year, and Honda managed to get into the local community college. Anzu did save up enough to go to New York like she wanted, but she didn't get into the dance school she wanted, so she's studying at the community college with Honda and taking as many dance classes as she can so that she'll be able to get in.

Anyway, this was the first time we'd all gotten to see each other in awhile. At the beginning of the year, Jounouchi, Honda and Anzu drove to Tokyo every weekend to come and see us, but as they got caught up in their world in Domino, and we got caught up in ours, we didn't have much time to see eachother. I remember that Jounouchi, Honda, Otogi, Yuugi and Anzu were talking incessantly, as was expected, since they had a lot of catching up to do, but I'm not much of a talker and I felt out of place, Otogi and I usually stick together at these types of things since he's meddlesome as I've said and dislikes leaving me alone for even a second. This is made worse by the fact that back at university he's my roommate. But at the part he was talking as loudly and as quickly as anyone else, and he couldn't seem to take his eyes off Honda. I'm not too sure but I think that Otogi might have a crush on Honda. Maybe if he took a break from meddling in other people's love lives he'd have time for one of his own.

I felt so out of place that I did what I usually do when I'm not entirely sure what I should be doing, I began to wander. I guess that's when I found Seto. He was standing by himself in a corner staring at a glass of fruit punch that had been shoved into his hand by Yami shortly after he had arrived, Yami likes to make sure everyone is having fun or at least looks like they are, for Yuugi's sake. I'm not sure what made me go over and talk to him, but I guess it was the fact that he looked as out of place as I felt.

"That punch is spiked you know,"

I remember clearly the look of surprise on his face as he looked at me. Either he was surprised to learn that I really did talk, as I'm fairly sure that before that point we had never had a conversation or he was surprised that the punch was spiked. Since the punch is always spiked at Yuugi's parties, I'm guessing he already knew that. We ended up standing in the corner looking out of place together for the rest of the party. We didn't talk too much, only the occasional conversation, but that was fine with me. That's when Otogi decided that Seto and I would be good for each other, and he began he plot to get us together.

Sometime after the party, Otogi told me with that knowing smirk of his that Seto was spending an unusual amount of time at KaibaCorps Tokyo building, and that he'd been coming to visit Yuugi far more often than he ever had before, considering he didn't even like Yuugi that much. I'd noticed this, but I wasn't about to read anything into it. Maybe Seto had a crush on Yuugi. I knew even then that there was something about Seto that attracted me to him. We started finding ourselves alone together more and more often, and when he kissed me I had to admit that maybe he didn't have a crush on Yuugi after all. I'm not sure when it happened, but somehow I managed to make Seto Kaiba fall in love with me, and I wasn't entirely sure what I was supposed to do about it. Which brings me to where I am now, watching Seto Kaiba hand me his heart, with me knowing that I'll probably drop it.

Talk to him, tell him what I want. That's a fairly impossible demand since I don't even know what I want. He told me he loves me, but do I even know what love is? I've never been in love before, how should I know what it feels like. I don't know if I love Seto or not, I don't know anything lately. What do I want? I want to stop wondering what I want. I want to know what I want. When I was little it was so much easier. I wanted friends, I wanted good luck for once, I wanted a city where I could be happy. I've gotten that, so what do I want now? Looking at Seto's eyes it's easy to see he knows what he wants. Seto would never be confused like I am, Seto's always known what he wants, and he's always gone after it. I wish I were like Seto.

I feel like crying when I see Seto look at me so expectantly. He seems so vulnerable like this and its wrong to see Seto like this. Seto is supposed to be strong and invincible. Seto is supposed to be unshakeable. His perfect image could never fall just because of me. Never. Seto is supposed to hold me and to make me strong when I'm not. That's what Seto is. How can he keep me standing if I have the power to make him fall? I just want Seto to hold me and to make this all go away. I want more from Seto than he could ever give, but maybe I could ask, just one thing and maybe Seto would take that, instead of love I don't know if I can give.

"I want you to hold me."

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Aiiiie! This fic makes me feel all fuzzy and I'm not sure why. It was fun to write so please r/r and tell me what you think. 


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